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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29918487">The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck as judged by Phooey and Kablooie</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty'>KingFranPetty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [43]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguing, Courtroom Drama, Dialogue, Dialogue Heavy, Justice, Lawyers, Monologue, Other, Revenge, Short, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:46:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,121</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29918487</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The plot is going to be very different from the actual episode due to the crimes being given more analysis.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Here's how Phooey Duck can still win Endgame. [43]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1647268</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck as judged by Phooey and Kablooie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Skipping the nothing Burger side plot,</p><p>Phooey Duck, Louie Duck, and Scrooge McDuck were summoned to be judged. Scrooge McDuck demanded, "Who called this kangaroo court into play!? I demand to see this fiend!!" The jackal that stood before Lady Justice spoke, "Bring them in." A door was magiced into existence, exiting the door was Kablooie Duck. The Duck-McDuck family gasped in shock. Scrooge pointed to his summoned nephew and shouted in betrayal, "Traitor!"</p><p>Louie Duck shaked in fear as he feared aloud, "Oh Dear God, not Kablooie! Anyone but Kablooie!!"</p><p>Kablooie Duck stopped, pointing as he accused, "Don't you act like this is any surprise. Huey is smarter than the smarties, Dewey is "tougher" than the toughies, Louie is sharper than the sharpies, and Phooey is fair as square but I am the truth that Scrooge McDuck has never lived up to a damn thing! And I plan to prove it by making Scrooge pay in BLOOD for his Crimes!!" The jackal picked up the edgy preteen, dragging him kicking and screaming to his chair while that speech finished.</p><p>Louie got up and proclaimed, "I won't let you get away with this, I will defend my uncle... Mostly because I really don't want to know what "pay in blood" means in this case." Phooey Duck stood up also and also proclaimed boldly, "Kablooie! I refuse to let you do this to our Unca, I will also defend him." Kablooie glared at them both, wanting to say something but couldn't or wouldn't. McDuck scoffed at this all, "Kablooie is biased against me, this trial is a flim flam sham."</p><p>That was about the minute that Kablooie stopped himself from throwing a chair and instead call his first witness, "Flintheart Glomgold, don't make me regret this or else." Magically a witness stand was summoned up, upon this stand was Flintheart. Flintheart Glomgold told, "Scrooge McDuck not only turned me evil but if he hadn't stolen my glory then I could have been loved and found redemption." </p><p>Louie stood from his chair to disagree, "Glomgold did it to himself. He could at any time be better yet uses Scrooge as an excuse to hurt others, himself, and Scrooge."</p><p>They group held their breath a moment as Lady Justice judged these words. Lady Justice spoke aloud, "While it is possible that you, Of the chosen name Glomgold, could have been a better person if not for Scrooge, you have still had the chance to find redemption." Kablooie Duck flopped into his chair and thought that he should have picked a better example. The Firework face palmed and groaned lowly. Justice took her sword and stabbed deep. Yet her blade did not pierce the flesh to spill the blood but instead telported him to her scale.</p><p>Kablooie Duck breathed out smoke from his rage, "Fethry Duck, spill all the emotions you deny and allow your voice be heard." Fethry Duck was summoned to the stand. The red loon duck waved cheerfully, "Hi Green Donald, Hi Yellow Donald, Hi Orange Donald, Hi Uncle Scrooge." His family waved back politely. Notably, Phooey waved excitedly as he had not seen his cousin Fethry in a while. Fethry Duck cleared his throat and then explained, "My Uncle Scrooge sent me to an underwater base for years and never checked on me. I love him still but I want Justice for what happened."</p><p>Phooey Duck pointed out, "Unca Scrooge only did that because Bradford, Bentley, and Buford Buzzard manipulated him into it." Fethry nodded in agreement but added, "True, still he could have checked on me instead of isolating me for years." The children realized that was true as well and turned their attention to their uncle. Nervously, Scrooge admitted, "Maybe I should have... in hindsight." Lady Justice kneeled down to the loon. She spoke, "You are just in your want for justice. You may get on my scale." The red sock hat gave a pained smile, getting on the guilty side.</p><p>So there was one on the innocent and one on the guilty. Kablooie shrugged, "Kildare Coot, I guess you are up." Kildare Coot was summoned to the witness stand. Kildare waved and greeted his family, "Hey Fethry! Hi Phooey! Hello Louie!... Scrooge." Again the Duck-McDuck family waved back. Fethry and Phooey being more happy to see him. Coot calmed down before giving his view, "While I know F.O.W.L is behind it and I do love my uncle, Scrooge still locked me in an asylum that only worsened my mental health and refused to listen when I tried to warn him about FOWL."</p><p>The top hat turned up his bill, huffing, "I cannot be held responsible. I thought he had gone mad and needed help." Kablooie noted, "Yeahhhhhh but you didn't notice the fact that all your family was being pulled away from you by the same three people? That someone was literally screaming that said three people were clearly ruining your life?"</p><p> </p><p>The rich duck swallowed and nerously chuckled as he tried to think of an excuse for not seeing it sooner when Kildare had figured out FOWL so many years earlier. Lady Justice added Kildare Coot to the guilty scale with Fethry Duck. The two cousins immediately rambled to each other with great joy. Louie Duck grew worried as he saw the scales trip more to guilty. He agrued, "Scrooge had been influenced by a magical artifact, he couldn't have known as he was being manipulated." The innocent scale tripped as the two loon ducks were telported.</p><p>Kablooie Duck gritted his sharp teeth, boiling as he ordered, "Magica De Spell, you have a chance is now!" Magica De Spell appeared on the stand and pleaded, "Scrooge McDuck turned my brother into a crow!" Phooey Duck demanded, "Poe De Spell, tell your side!" Magica was moved to the side lines. Poe De Spell appeared and didn't waste a second, "Scrooge McDuck did turn me into a crow but my sister killed my daughter and my wife and Lena and NEVER turned me back!"</p><p>Magica saw her twin brother and sobbed, "Brother! I searched for you for years!! I tried to turn you back, I tried!" Poe disagreed, "NO! You spent far far more time hurting my niece, my daughter, my wife, and trying to steal that stupid fucking coin. I turned myself into a person but seeing as I'm a crow person, I can assure this court that I couldn't complete it." Everyone else kept in awkward silence, unsure how to approach this sibling fight without making things worse. Magica De Spell cried out, "I only killed your daughter and wife in the hopes that I could bring you back. I only made Lena to get the coin in hopes the coin could bring you back. Please understand brother!"</p><p>Poe De Spell raged, "I understand perfectly! I understand that you never once thought of any solution but destruction, that we were in the wrong and I should have stopped you! That all that time I rebuilt my life, denied the side of evil that ruined my life, and brought back my daughter, you had the ability to fix everything that duck ruined but you were too busy indulging in revenge. You were too busy destroying what little remained of our family. You were too busy and I had to save myself!!"</p><p>The court went dead silent outside of Poe's breathing and Magica crying her eyes out. Lady Justice seemed conflicted a second but ultimately put them on either side without saying anything. Kablooie Duck awkwardly moved on, "Bradford, Bentley, and Buford Buzzard, I'm only doing this because the witnesses threatened to hurt me if I didn't let them speak during this." And thus was summoned forth were 3 vultures. Bradford Buzzard made his case, "Scrooge McDuck has put the world in danger for every time he saved it. He should be stopped before his choas destroys us all."</p><p>Bentley Buzzard poked his brother in the shoulder and whispered, "Bradford, there's that witch who summoned those shadows." Buford Buzzard added in hushed tone, "I don't think we should be here." Bradford turned to both of them and huffed, "What are you idiots talking about?" Not a second was wasted after that, Louie Duck ripped apart their case, "You intend to control the world and remove all choas. Including this very court. Beyond that, your lawyer already admitted you are here by threat."</p><p>Phooey Duck sobbed and held tight to Scrooge, "It's the Scary Vultures! They are here to touch me in the bad way!!" The Jackal and Lady Justice glared at the leaders of F.O.W.L in disgust. The Jackal questioned in anger, "You soil this courtroom with your cheating ways!?" Lady Justice miffed aloud, "You 3 fools intend to chain the gods so you may indulge your sick perversion on a mere child!?!" The Buzzard Brothers attempted to lie their way out but it was already too late, they were kicked out.</p><p>Kablooie shivered, "They kidnapped me in the middle of the night a long time ago and touched my legs, they said they'd do worse if I didn't help them..." The Firecracker teared up as he held himself and shaked from remembering the trauma. Kildare shouted down, "They thought I was Phooey and I was lucky to get out alive! That's how I know everything about them, I told you Uncle Scrooge!!" Scrooge rubbed the back of his neck, ashamed he ever listened to those monsters.</p><p>McDuck shallowed his pride and confessed, "I was wrong! I was wrong to hurt all of you and never considered your side. I was wrong and I am sorry!" Louie and Phooey Duck gasped at this. Kablooie Duck got up from his chair, walking to the center of the courtroom, and giving a speech, "Scrooge McDuck hasn't just ruined your lives. He has ruined everyone's lives. His hoarding of wealth has ruined the entire world in fact, and every single evil committed under his riches is a crime of his. Ladies, gentlemen, and fellow people, I demand that Scrooge pay."</p><p>Kablooie continues as he walked over to everyone, "Scrooge McDuck has become the system of Capitalism, destroyer of worlds. For his crimes against God and Mankind, he should be put to death along side every other capitalist." Flintheart stood up and yelled, "That wasn't in the agreement!" The Fire replied back harshly, "Shut the fuck up you dirty fucking Parasite! I've had enough of you vampires and I plan to return the favor by delighting in the day I eat your flesh!"</p><p>Louie Duck went wide eyed, coughing up the words, "Jesus Fucking Christ, Kablooie!" The rest of the Duck-McDuck family had a similar reaction but didn't swear. Even Lady Justice and the Jackal were uncomfortable to have heard that. Then Phooey Duck made his case, "Kablooie Duck, I won't stand for this anymore. Scrooge McDuck is both the victim and the system of Capitalism, to act as if the solution is mere murder reduces the issue. Simply killing all capitalist could result in a fascist take over as your politics fail to consider the existence of crypto fascist and borders on crypto fascism itself!"</p><p>"Your political ideals oversimplifies a very complicated situation. I admit I have been far too uncritical of Scrooge but it isn't because I'm unaware. It's because I have been trying to convince him to give up these delusions. Besides that, the jump for violence on your part has only been damaging." Phooey continues on, "In fact, the fact that justice is based on punishment rather than reform is appalling. This court is out of order because the entire concept of Justice is not just. Capital should be abolished but the demand of blood is monstrous and cruel."</p><p> </p><p>The entire room stared at Phooey Duck in silence. A few shared looks between each other, unsure how to respond let alone agrue. Some of them couldn't even understand the argument being made. Yet ultimately it was up for Lady Justice to decide. She thought for a long time, judging her scales but found even her tools lacking. Justice spoke aloud, "Phooey Duck... You have displayed yourself as truly worthy of being "fair as square" as your brother claims but this case has become too vast and complex for a binary choice. I will allow Scrooge to walk free until his death when I will have enough information to judge him. Until then, you have my blessing as Justice will always be on your side."</p><p>The courtroom disappeared into magic dust. Kablooie Duck just sat there with his bill hanging open and staring at Phooey. Louie Duck commented, "That was weirdly disappointing."</p><p>The End.</p>
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